The arrival of a baby is no doubt cause for celebration. However, after the elation of being a new parent wears off, comes the reality of breastfeeding, diapering, sleeping in 90-minute blocks, and putting your sex life in the backseat (no ease in sex) as the care of the newborn takes the front row.
Most new mothers accept this new normal as something to be both endured and enjoyed while it lasts. But as the child grows and allows the new mother to return to some of her pre-childbirth activities, she will have to face some of the neglected aspects of her life that got pushed back because of new priorities. One of these is the touchy issue of sex, or lack of it, due to low libido and altered self-image.
If this is you, wishing to get intimate with your partner again but coping with the reality of the changes in your body and your sexual desire, then perhaps taking small steps to ease back into sex is a better place to start than to fret and be overwhelmed by the thought of doing it all at once.
To steer you in that sexy direction, try the following suggestions.
Get out of the ‘mommy’ mindset
You may have a hard time reconciling the image of yourself as a devoted mother and a woman with sexual desires, and that mindset is often the first obstacle to regaining your libido. Psychologists today say that a woman’s most powerful sexual organ is her brain, so shifting her mindset is a huge leap in reclaiming her sex drive. One of the easiest things you can do to get into the sexy mindset is to unwind in a space free from baby-related things and concerns. Perhaps it’s high time to move the baby into its own room so your bedroom becomes your place of retreat and self-rediscovery, and when the time is right, intimacy.
Communicate Expectations with your Partner
Naturally, your partner will understand that your nether regions are still going to be off-limits for quite some time, somewhere between six weeks after childbirth or even up to a year for some new moms. But after a reasonable amount of time has lapsed and your libido is still nowhere to be found, you may want to talk to your husband about your situation and discuss with him what you can do both to keep the romantic flame alive. That way, he won’t have his sexual bubble burst if you try it the first time after childbirth and neither of you ended up satisfied.
Get intimate with your Partner
All talk and no play will leave your sex life all the more wanting. Do not rush into things, however. Slow and easy should be your byword during this time, and your attempts at intimacy doesn’t even have to end in penetrative sex. The important thing is to reconnect with your partner to remind him that he is not sidelined amidst all the child-rearing that takes up most of your time together. Besides, when he feels he is still within the loop, he’s likely going to be more than willing to pitch in with child care so you both end up having time with each other.
Reclaim your Date Night
Now with a little one to look after, your previously neat schedule of once-a-week dinners or weekend movie marathons has likely been ruined as you become more hands-on with your parenting. To carve out time for you as a couple, enlist the help of your in-laws or a hired help so you can go on a child-free date. Strengthening your bond as a couple will only make you better parents and partners, benefiting your child in the process.
Invest in Sexy Underwear
You won’t likely be very comfortable in lacy lingerie while you’re squirting milk, but do it anyway. Consider investing in sexy underwear a psychological transition into getting back your old sexy self again. It may not yet be time to throw away your mommy panties, but it pays to have a stash of tantalizing undergarments that you can wear regularly to remind yourself that while you may be someone’s mother now, you’re still someone’s wife too.
Strengthen your Pelvic Floor
Vaginal laxity is a serious concern among women who have had vaginal deliveries, but one that is not given sufficient attention because these women may be not comfortable in bringing up the issue with their physicians, or they may feel it is too trivial to worry about. But as Vaginal Laxity often leads to reduced pleasurable friction during intercourse and consequently diminished sexual satisfaction, it needs to be adequately addressed if a woman is to maintain a healthy level of sexual satisfaction. Some remedy the feeling of looseness with Kegel exercises, which involve squeezing and releasing the levator muscles of the pelvis, while those who want to see immediate results opt for non-surgical vaginal tighteningprocecertified medical clinic in Singapore dures such as Viveve Treatment. This procedure uses radiofrequency technology to trigger the body’s own natural regenerative process to strengthen the collagen around the vaginal opening.
Pile on Libido-boosting Food
Tricking your brain into thinking sexy thoughts can only do so much if the rest of your body is not up to it. So your body and brain team up together to bring back your sex drive, you also need to feed them with libido-boosting nutrients. Chocolates are rich in magnesium that makes you feel relaxed; dark chocolates especially have been found to release a compound similar to endorphins released during sex. Oatmeal is not only a testosterone booster but also contains L-arginine that helps increase blood flow to the clitoris. The same can be said for almonds; Vitamin E found in them boost blood flow to the sex organs. Avocado and eggs are both rich in vitamin B6 that helps increase sexual stamina. Zinc, which can be found in abundance in pumpkin seeds, oyster and red meat (ideally, of the grass-fed variety), is the ultimate sex mineral as its deficiency is closely related to decreased testosterone production, a hormone responsible for both male and female libidos.
Diminished libido is normal for women who have just given birth, sometimes lasting for as long as they breastfeed their infants. If you worry that yours has not yet returned despite due diligence, consult with your doctor from a for options.